10 Unconventional Christmas Movies That Roundhouse Kick the Holiday Spirit Right in the Face

This Christmas, skip the classics. Sure, you could watch It's a Wonderful Life for the twentieth time, but let's be honest, the holiday season can be pretty miserable, so why not watch something that gives it the kick in the ass it so rightfully deserves?

DIE HARD

Because nothing says Christmas like...
Bruce Willis beating the ever-loving crap out of an elite terrorist organization on Christmas Eve.

Defining Christmas moment...
When John McClane gives terrorist baddie Hans Gruber a fun little Christmas gift.

BAD SANTA

Because nothing says Christmas like...
A shit-faced alcoholic mall Santa (Billy Bob Thornton) who beats up teenagers, has sex with prostitutes, and robs department stores on Christmas Eve with the help of his foul-mouthed dwarf partner.

Defining Christmas moment...
When the well-meaning fat kid gives Billy Bob Thornton a wooden pickle for Christmas, which has been accidentally stained with his blood. It's presents like these that show the true meaning of the holidays. And by that I mean, this proves that commercialism is awesome and you should totally be friends with people who buy into it, because otherwise you may end up with a wooden pickle covered in blood as a Christmas gift (which, let's be honest, may just be the worst gift you could possibly receive, aside from maybe the collective works of Stephenie Meyer or a DVD copy of High School Musical 3).

THE REF

Because nothing says Christmas like...
An endlessly bickering husband and wife being taken hostage by a cat burglar (Dennis Leary) on Christmas Eve.

Defining Christmas moment...
"You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it."

KISS KISS BANG BANG

Because nothing says Christmas like...
A petty thief (Robert Downey Jr.) who's posing as an actor getting himself caught up in the middle of a murder investigation during the holidays.

Defining Christmas moment...
Michelle Monaghan wearing THIS outfit for the majority of the film. And then later, not wearing that outfit. If you know what I mean. Wink wink.

BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)

Because nothing says Christmas like...
Sorority sisters getting horribly murdered by a mysterious, psychopathic serial killer during the Christmas break.

Defining Christmas moment...
When the deranged killer utters those magical words, "Let me lick your pretty pink c**t." Can you think of a better gift on Christmas?

TRADING PLACES

Because nothing says Christmas like...
A snobbish investor (Dan Aykroyd) and a wily street con artist (Eddie Murphy) finding their positions reversed as part of a bet by two callous millionaires.

Defining Christmas moment...
A desperate, dirty and homeless Dan Aykroyd stands miserable wearing a Santa outfit on the street... A dog walks over and pisses on him... Rain starts pouring down... He raises a gun to his and gets ready to fire... Click. No bullet. Defeated, he tosses the gun aside, and just as it hits the sidewalk, the gun goes off. God bless us, everyone.

THE ICE HARVEST

Because nothing says Christmas like...
A shady attorney (John Cusack) and pornographer (Billy Bob Thornton) stealing $2 million on Christmas Eve, and then watching the body count rise as their "perfect crime" goes completely to hell.

Defining Christmas moment...
Upon discovering his partner's wife sitting by the Christmas tree with a bullet in her head, Charlie (Cusack) runs into Vic (Thornton), who explains that a hit man who's after them threatened to kill his wife unless he revealed where the money was. "I think he was counting on a level of commitment and affection between her and me that just simply wasn't there." Ah, Christmas: a beautiful time where you celebrate family and the ones you love.

BATMAN RETURNS

Because nothing says Christmas like...
A vigilante who dresses up as a bat and battles a grotesque, deformed man called The Penguin and a cat-obsessed psycho lady called Catwoman during the Christmas season.

Defining Christmas moment...
Catwoman: "You killed me... The Penguin killed me... Batman killed me... That's... three lives down. You got enough in there to finish me off?"
Max (Christopher Walken): "One way to find out. "
He fires two shots at her.
Catwoman: "Four... Five... *cracks whip* ...Still alive! "
He fires two more shots.
Catwoman: "Six... Seven... All good girls go to heaven... "
She closes in on him. He pulls the trigger, but there are no more bullets.
Catwoman: *laughs hysterically* "Two lives left. I think I'll save one for next Christmas. But in the meantime, how about a kiss Santi-Claus?"
She moves in for a kiss and jabs him with a stun gun.

GO

Because nothing says Christmas like...
Watching a group of young adults deal drugs, score cash, get wasted, have sex, and nearly kill a whole bunch of people... all during one long Christmas Eve.

Defining Christmas moment...
"They can't evict you on Christmas! Then you'd be ho-ho-homeless!"

GREMLINS

Because nothing says Christmas like...
Receiving a Christmas gift in the form of a Furby-like creature that is capable of multiplying and transforming into vicious, scaly monsters.

Defining Christmas moment...
"It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus."

[Header Image Source: Mathew Inman]

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Did we miss some? If you can think of other great unconventional Christmas movies, let us know in the comments and we'll update the list. Be sure to give your name so we can credit you.