Adam Quigley Posted: May 18, 2008
The solution?
New characters.
These characters are different though. They haven't been added to advance the storyline or bring something unique to the show. They've been added for the sole reason of appealing to a much broader audience, and hopefully, to increase the show's ratings in the process. What seems to be lost on the studios though is that they're not increasing anything; all they're doing is losing the original viewers by spiting the show's established fanbase, since more times than not, these new characters just plain suck.

Nikki & Paulo - Lost
Added: Season 3
Thrown in the mix with all the care and subtlety of a kick to the nuts, new castaways Nikki and Paulo were immediately met with an endless amount of face palms and lengthy shoutings of expletives from practically all loyal viewers of the show. This was due largely to the duo being pathetically introduced as if they had been in the background the entire time, and then that hatred was reaffirmed by the two characters contributing absolutely nothing to the series outside of looking like a couple of incredibly good looking and very tanned models. I mean, c'mon, what else could you possibly want from the characters of your favorite TV show? Certainly not an interesting backstory or, say, a justifiable reason for existence. Nah, we want people who look like they should be posing for Abercrombie & Fitch ads.
If that weren't enough, these two new characters also blatantly brought to light something that really should've gone unsaid: that the group we've been following through all these bizarre occurrences is the "popular" group. You know all those other survivors in the background? Yeah, they're just boring losers (a.k.a. "normal" people, like you or me) who sit around while Jack, Locke, Kate and the rest of the cool kids have all sorts of crazy adventures. With this, it almost felt like the writers were breaking the fourth wall, presenting the show's characters as just that: characters. For me, it really detracted from the reality of the show. (And yes, I know I'm complaining about the reality of a show featuring smoke monsters, cursed numbers, and a magical island.)
There was an upside to these two characters though. After the fans complained enough, the writers went ahead and off'd the annoying couple in the most satisfyingly fucked up way imaginable. "Razzle dazzle," bitches!

Stosh “Piz” Piznarski - Veronica Mars
Added: Season 3
After two spectacular seasons of pure crime-solving bliss, Veronica Mars had unfortunately not picked up enough in viewership to crawl out of its ratings slump, and the writers became desperate. So next to a number of other deeply saddening and unnecessary alterations to the show's flawless format, the writers made their worst decision of all: introducing the annoying, unfunny little twerp Piz.
I don't think the inspiration for his character has been officially stated, but I'm pretty I know who they based him off of: these guys. You may know them as the (supposed) comedy duo "Smosh." If you don't, it's likely because you're not a 15-year-old girl who subscribes to every gay and Asian vlogger on YouTube. If that's the case, then you probably also aren't a fan of emo/scene-looking douchebags who try and fail at being funny at every chance they get. And in turn, you're not the intended audience for the third season of Veronica Mars, which not only managed to confound its fans with what might just be the least appropriate character to ever join a show's cast (eventually even getting more screen time than the other much more appealing supporting characters), but even has the gall to make him a central love interest. Goddamn you Piz. You just about ruined Veronica Mars, and I will forever loathe you with every fiber of my being.

Maya & Alejandro - Heroes
Added: Season 2
Hold on now. Another randomly introduced TV duo that contributes nothing to the show outside of becoming increasingly more annoying with every episode they're in? Did we learn nothing from the third season of Lost? Maya & Alejandro may not be as pointless as the additions of Nikki & Paulo, but they're equally as dull and uninteresting.
Here's a summary of literally every episode featuring the two of them...
| Oh no, I keep killing people by filling them with tar (or something)! What have I done? I have been cursed with this terrible burden! I am sad now! Thankfully you are here, Alejandro, as you apparently make it stop for some reason. | |
| Yes, that's what I'm here for. Let me hug you while looking deeply concerned. | |
| Hey guys, what's up? I don't have any powers anymore (fun plot progression, right?), but I'm still super evil. Can I join you? | |
| Of course. I don't know who you are, but you seem like a trustworthy guy. Hey Alejandro, he's going to help us! | |
| I don't trust him. | |
| I trust him. | |
| I don't. You can tell because I'm looking really concerned right now. See? When I frown like this I look really concerned. I'm fascinating. | |
| You're wrong about him! I'm mad at you! | |
| Oh by the way guys... *kills Alejandro* Yeah, he was right. | |
| I'm a dumb bitch. Excuse me while I act sad some more. |
End season two.
Can't wait for season three!

Zombie Tony - 24
Added: Season 7
Though I was unable to venture beyond the first season of 24 due to my strong opposition to all plot devices amnesia related and that appallingly bad accent by way of an unintentionally comical Dennis Hopper, it was still sad news to hear that series favorite Tony Almeida had been killed in season five, not even so much as getting a silent "ticking clock" at the end in tribute (as is given to all prominent character's deaths). Did this mean there was a possibility he survived? No, he fucking died. Case closed.
Cue season seven, and guess who's back? Tony Almeida. And now he's the villain. Now, he's a goddamn terrorist.
24 has officially run out of ideas.

Dawn Summers - Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Added: Season 5
I'll leave this one up to you guys to decide, since I've only seen a handful of Buffy episodes, thus I may not be the best source on commenting what a blatant excuse for ratings her character is. She first gets introduced as Buffy's little sister, despite Buffy being established as only child, and then the writers basically switched it around saying, "Oh wait, she's not actually her sister, she's actually some mystical hottie, but who cares, we're still going to act like they're siblings." From then on Dawn become the go-to character for getting in the way and causing all sorts of mayhem.
So what do you think? Does she deserve to be on this list? Let loose your thoughts in the comments below.
Oliver Trask - The O.C.
Added: Season 1
(Contributed by Myles McNutt and Angie Han)
It was a story out of a fairy tale: Girl O.D.’s in Tijuana, sees a therapist where she meets an odd-looking boy, girl allows boy to get close enough that he falls in love, boy is obviously crazy, hijinx ensue. Oliver’s disruptive influence introduced three of the show’s worst tropes: The Character who comes in, screws with emotions, and vanishes into thin air, Helpless Damsel in Distress Marissa, and Every Guy Who Encounters Marissa Falls Madly in Love. The end result was a character who became such a running joke that the series itself had Seth raise the concern that Oliver could return at any moment for the purpose of contrivance. Luckily, he never showed up at the door again.

Lauren Reed, Nadia Santos and Rachel Gibson - Alias
Added: Season 3, 4, and 5, respectively.
(Contributed by Myles McNutt)
Three very attractive actresses were added to Alias’ cast in its final three seasons, as the series began devolving from its original quality to something far less interesting. That the hotness: quality ratio would fail so spectacularly is largely because the three characters were either too contrived, too useless, or too bland. In a show where Jennifer Garner epitomized a character who could kick ass and hit the show’s emotional beats, these female characters never went beyond eye candy to contribute anything to the show’s core narrative beyond being part of some of its worst tangents into mediocre storylines. They were designed to tear apart relationships, convolute mythology, or just add a fresh face to pander to the new viewers ABC wanted to court. By the end, all of them fell by the wayside, even if Nadia was somewhat justified by her fantastic final moment with her father.
And then, of course, there are these two classic characters, who have now essentially come to define what happens when the people behind a TV show become desperate for ratings.
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| Scrappy Doo - Scooby Doo Added: 1979, ten years after the show's initial debut. |
Oliver Tyler - The Brady Bunch Added: Season 5 |
| Wikipedia says... Scrappy-Doo was added to the cast of Scooby-Doo to save the show's ratings, which by 1979 had begun to sink to the point of cancellation threats from ABC. After his addition to the show proved to be a ratings success, Hanna-Barbera restructured the show around Scrappy in 1980. The original format of four teenagers and their dog(s) solving supernatural mysteries for a half-hour was eschewed for simpler, more comedic adventures which involved real supernatural villains. In later years, the presence of Scrappy-Doo has often been criticized as having had a negative impact on the various Scooby-Doo series of the 1980s. | Wikipedia says... The producers added Oliver because the producers wanted a younger character to balance out the maturing cast. The "kids" were now all over twelve, and the producers hoped that adding a younger cast member would improve ratings. The addition did not work, and Cousin Oliver proved unpopular with the viewing audience; some fans would later call the addition of Oliver the moment when the series "jumped the shark", or marked its decline. A "Cousin Oliver" now refers to a cute child actor added to the cast of a long-running show, in hopes to boost ratings, or to replace child cast members who have since grown up. |
Now it's your turn! If you thought of some worthless character additions of your own that are in need of a mention (or rather, a vitriolic lambasting), drop a line in the comments below and—if they're any good—we'll update the article with your picks.
USER UPDATES!
Luke Brower - Growing Pains
Added: Season 7
(Suggested & Contributed by: plimpton777)
Before Critters catapulted him to stardom with critical accolades, Leonardo Di Caprio made watching "Growing Pains" just a little more painful. He was added as some long-lost brother or some orphan they found on the street, or a soldier from the future meant to save the world from Kirk Cameron. Who gives a shit--it sucked.
Also see: Wikipedia
Sam McKinney - Diff'rent Strokes
Added: Season 7
(Suggested & Contributed by: decepticrat)
The list left out the red-headed kid, Sam, from different strokes. Him and his guitar-playing, country song singing-ass felt like he was accidentally air-dropped into the middle of a different strokes episode---which constantly vied for the title of 'de-facto urban-displacement comedy of its time' with Gimme a Break---was without a doubt the WORST intentional misdirection a television show ever pulled on its core audience!
Also see: Wikipedia
The Great Gazoo - The Flinstones
Added: Season 6
(Suggested & Contributed by: HCviolence)
Wheres the great Gazoo? He's the original show killer.
Also see: Wikipedia
Reginald Cornelius III or "RC3"/"RC" - Knight Rider
Added: Season 4
(Suggested & Contributed by: TheCash)
Lets not forget the genius addition of Reginald Cornelius III or "RC3", as some super hip NBC exec decided was a totally jive nickname, to the fourth and final season of Knight Rider. KITT got put back together more then a few times during the shows run, but never quite as "funky fresh'ly" as when RC and his inner city chop shop crew resurrected him in ghetto-tastic montage fashion. I dunno what that was all about, but I remember thinking it was pretty lame even as a 7 year old.
Also see: Wikipedia
Seven - Married with Children
Added: Season 7
(Suggested & Contributed by: Anonymous)
Married With Children introduced a new character, a young boy named "Seven" who was supposedly adopted by Al and Peggy. He seemed almost an intentional parody of "Cousin Oliver". His character was unceremoniously dropped only a season later.
Also see: Wikipedia
Bill "Sticks" Downey - Happy Days
Added: Season 3
(Suggested & Contributed by: Hairy Carrot)
How about Sticks from "Happy Days". In a feeble attempt to show racial diversity from the 1950's (blacks weren't invented yet, were they?) the new drummer for Richie's band almost tore Milwaukee apart. Sticks was a nice "colored" boy who was supposed to hang out with them, and of course, the Fonz went to bat for him. It still didn't matter because it was even more unbelievable than Mork from Ork visiting Arnold's Drive-In.
Also see: Wikipedia
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169 Comments
Growing Pains
Cousin Oliver
Poor Cousin Oliver
Cousin Oliver Spin-Off Series
Oh man, I can't believe you
Married With Children
Dawn/Buffy
Dawn/Buffy
The story said: ... the
Dawn/Buffy
dawn/buffy
very very worthless
worthless tv characters
Agreeance
Dawn Should Have Died...
21 Jump Street...
Dawn in Buffy
Dawn Summers
Lauren Reed, etc
Smallville
Nope. The thing about
Dawn
Suggestion
Randy Pearson : That 70's Show
Right on, RJ. Foreman should
Who's the Boss
Ay Mallory! Ay Nick!
Nick actually had a few good moments.....
What about the Chick that
A Team
Considering that nothing i
i gotta disagree with
tori...saved by the bell
Posts vs Page
Wheelie from Transformers and Frankie Santana From The A-Team
George Lopez
Gazoo
MADDY - Ally McBeal
Maddy - Ally McBeal
yipes
Gilmore Girls
Gilmore Girls - April
Frankie "Dishpan Man"
Kotter
What? The Patron Saint of shark jumping is NOT on this list?
Right on for Ted McGinley!
happy days
Warren
Warren
Billie/Christie on Charmed
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