"Armored" Trailer Reminds Us That Theft is Still Boring (Especially When We Get to Know the Ending Early)

By: Garrett Thomas Posted: April 18, 2009 Filed under: Trailers

When watching the trailer for Armored, it's hard not to think back to previous lackluster heist fare (S.W.A.T., After The Sunset, Firewall, etc.), all of which up to a few years ago seemed to come out annually to fill the standard heist slot. I realize it's been awhile since easily forgettable heist movies like those have entered the cinematical arena but at the same time it definitely doesn't feel like it's been long enough either. What makes those films unmemorable isn't the right question to ask. I believe a better approach is what makes the good ones - the exceptional ones - succeed on such a scale. When people talk about great theft-oriented movies it always has the short list of must-see films. Films like The Usual Suspects and Heat are always at the forefront, followed by other greats like Ocean's 11 or Reservoir Dogs. Another one I don't see mentioned all the time that I really enjoyed was Inside Man but after that it all drops off into obscurity.

But why do those films become such tent poles of the genre and everything else the circus clown poop scooper? I believe the key word in that case is predictability. Who saw the end of any of those previously successful films coming? Practically no one. Enter: Armored, a new film directed by Nimród Antal (Vacancy) that hits theaters in September. Just one look at the trailer and you're reminded of the paced, methodical, formulaic heist films of decades past. Loyalties broken, the inside job, the unforseen event that wasn't part of the plan... it's all very familiar. From the trailer alone you can ascertain the dire circumstance that forced the protagonist to make that choice to take part in a criminal act, as well as the one that brought him back to a moral reality. Some shouting, an epic showdown involving a pissed off Matt Dillion/Jean Reno/Laurence Fishburne, and even an armored truck chase scene can't make this remotely exciting for me. I've seen it all in other films already and I know this because the trailer showed me all the best parts.

That by itself is a growing problem with previewing movies. The powers that be want so much in the trailer to entice people to pack the seats that they sometimes divulge the best parts. You know the point the trailer gets to when this happens every time. It's that last chunk of the trailer that brings in the surprise(s) and kills it for anyone interested in seeing the movie. Notably following this line of trailer failure are the ones for Funny People and Public Enemies. The moment the trailer has gone too far is so blatantly obvious in those two examples that I don't even want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen them.

Making a good heist movie that stands the test of time requires the audience to have a unique and memorable experience. Whether it's a great reveal at the end of the film (The Usual Suspects, Inside Man) or specific scenes that are so powerful they become the basis of comparison for any similar scene in the future (Heat's masterpiece shoot out). I will of course reserve final judgment until the proper time but it's my inclination that Armored won't come close to unique or special. That's going on the only piece of information available, granted, but it's the one that's supposed to get me to want to see the movie in the first place.